Family Day is our most special event as a family. It signifies the day that two pairs joined to become one unit of four, the day we became a family. There is nothing more precious than family. This is something we regularly reinforce. Family is everything. We love, trust and rely on each other and provide for the needs of everyone else from the top to the bottom. That’s what keeps us strong through everything.
We can’t, however, lose sight of our “extended family”, those that you’ve shared events and experiences with as you travel down the road of life. These are the people that have left an indelible mark on your life experience. One may have helped the other along the way when it was needed most. Perhaps, you shared triumphant jubilation or excruciating heartache. Whatever the source of your connection, these people become a firm part of what you are now. And, so it is for us.
This weekend is one of those special times when you’re able to bring many emotions and experiences into one event, an event that is so concentrated and overwhelming that you’re consumed by it. Within one event, we have been able to relive the past, celebrate the present and anticipate the future. We have also been able to rekindle long-standing friendships and nourish those that are just beginning.
Thursday evening, as we loaded onto our aircraft at Seattle-Tacoma International Airport and prepared to head to the San Francisco Bay area, we were greeted by the warm, smiling faces of Brenda and Barry and their two children, Audrey and Cap. Cap is an older child that was in Tuyen Quang with Evan and Caylan. They decided to join us on this momentous trip to make it even more of just that. By the time we were to arrive in San Jose, a special event would be taking place just to the northwest in San Francisco, one that would make this trip so very special. After arriving at our destination, we collected our bags and each family headed off toward its own destination.
The next morning, the two families rejoined for breakfast to energize for the special day ahead. As we were leaving the restaurant, I received the much-anticipated call. The time had come to set the wheels in motion. With great anticipation of events to come, we quickly loaded the kids into the cars and sped off for the 20-minute drive to our first destination. Pulling into the parking lot of the hotel, the butterflies commenced their dance within my stomach. This would be an event to remember. I’m not sure I will ever be able to adequately describe what happened next but, for quite a few minutes, my heart was in my throat.
Pushing through the door and entering the hotel lobby, life became surreal. It was as if the past, present and future had converged into one point for a few moments and briefly became one. Inside the door stood Cheryl and Duffy fresh from their trip to Vietnam standing with Luon, Evan’s best friend from Tuyen Quang who had spent more than a year there. Evan and Caylan immediately ran to him and the faces of all three lit up like Christmas, New Years and Independence Days combined. Cap was very reserved but slowly began warming up. This is the first, and biggest, event for which we had been waiting. That special event in San Francisco during our flight was Luon becoming a United States citizen.
We slipped over to a nearby Vietnamese mall and did some shopping and the kids began finding their footing again. During our shopping, Duffy and I would watch the boys and, several times, we would see Evan and Luon arm-in-arm, enjoying the closeness they had once shared in Tuyen Quang. After a short while there, we grabbed some sandwiches and headed to a large park so the kids could play and kill some time until the next event. We spent hours there as the kids ran themselves ragged.
It took a monumental effort to pry the kids from the play area but we were finally able to accomplish our goal and get them loaded into the cars. Twenty minutes later, we arrived at our next stop and, not long after our arrival, Ruby Phuong showed up to complete the early events that were planned. We were able to bring five of the older children from Tuyen Quang together again. I couldn’t help but think back to a year ago when we were traveling and remember these five beautiful children in the orphanage together and, as we walked down that path to the green door, seeing each of them straining to see who had come for them. That day, only three of them would leave. Two would be left behind; one for seven months and the other for a year. Five children and four families united into one extended family through experience, heartache and triump.
Saturday, was the biggest planned event in size. We joined more families to celebrate our Tuyen Quang Family Day together. Lelah and Melissa joined us to bring two more children back into the fold. We warmly remembered our trip together, enjoyed good food and watched the children play until we thought they’d all fall over exhausted. Pamela, who broke into tears when she met Thuy, and Eric joined us as well. They’ll be traveling to Tuyen Quang in November as part of the last group to visit from the United States due to the expiration of the bilateral adoption agreement between the two countries.
After finishing the picnic, we spent more time with Cheryl and Duffy. The innevitable, dreaded moment was approaching much too quickly. We took the kids to Chuck E. Cheeze and out to a local diner for dinner so the kids could spend a little more time together before they were to board their flight and take that last leg home. Luon spoke almost constantly to Thuy during dinner wanting to know this and that. It also gave Cheryl and Duffy a chance to tell Luon a few things before his introduction to the remainder of his new family.
Before we left, we were also able to call Lieu so that Luon could speak with her and let her know he was doing well. I think that helped both of them. He really misses her and she was very worried about him. He even confessed to crying because he missed her so much. She was his “mother” for more than a year and that bond will always be there.
Stepping out of the restaurant and into the cool, northern California evening, I doubt that any of us truly wanted the moment to end. It was difficult to say “farewell” to that brave, little boy about to complete a trip half-way around the world and enter a situation that is completely foreign to him. He knows he can call us at any time and that may make things easier for him at first. He adores Thuy and she reciprocates.
Thinking back on everything that’s happened during the past two days showed me our true extended family. Brenda and Barry didn’t have to travel and celebrate this Family Day with us. Theirs isn’t until next spring. Cheryl and Duffy didn’t have to stop off and delay their arrival home by two days to celebrate with us. After being away from home for three weeks, I wouldn’t have blamed them for running straight home to be with family, introduce their new son and sleep in their own bed. The other families could have stayed at home and celebrated in their own way. In all of these situations, none of them did the easy thing. Some wanted to reconnect. Others wanted to connect. In the end, we celebrated Family Day as an extended family, connected by a bond that may tangle but will never break.
I can’t properly express how blessed we feel to have such a wonderful group of people with whom to celebrate. We all stay in touch and will continue to do so. We’ll be there to help, to share, to celebrate. As I looked toward the group from a distance, I didn’t see families made up of different racial and cultural backgrounds. I saw families that were no different than any other. Ours is just a bit bigger than most.
