After a brief problem with our chosen adoption agency due to the closure of our local office, we’ve finally settled down and have begun to prepare ourselves for an addition to our family. We weren’t feeling overly comfortable when the local office closed and it didn’t happen in a way that instilled confidence at first. But, after speaking with the new regional director, we feel much better about the situation and want to continue down the chosen path.
After searching through thousands and thousands of names online and in baby name databases, we have finally come to a decision on a name for our daughter-to-be. Because my wife, Thuy, is Vietnamese and I’m your average, everyday white guy, we wanted a name that worked well in both languages. Trying to get an English speaker to pronounce Vietnamese names is darned near impossible because of accents and various types of letters that “look” the same but are pronounced differently. It’s also difficult finding an English name that Vietnamese find easy to pronounce without much of an accent. The name we’ve decided upon is Caylan. In Vietnamese, if you add a space between the “y” and “l” to make it “Cay Lan”, the name refers to an orchid plant, Thuy’s favorite flowers. In English, it means “victorious people”.
It feels strange choosing a name for someone you’ve never met or seen, never touched or held. We don’t get to experience a baby kicking and moving in the womb. We haven’t even been referred a child yet. During the adoption process, many things are out of your hands and in the control of others that don’t share the anxiety, desire, and excitement that you feel. We know we have a long road yet to travel. But, we also want to take care of those things that are within our control. That’s why we wanted to start with a name. Using a name means so much more than saying “the baby” or “our child”. It makes things more personal, even without the person being here. Now, when we want to talk about “the baby” or “our child”, we’ll simply refer to her as Caylan.
One step down…
My wife and I named our children before the ultrasound so that when we ID the gender, we could start using the given name. It makes us feel that the child is already a part of the family.
We’re glad to see that we’re not the only one’s that feel this way. It certainly makes it feel like there is a real person coming.